The altar of de-Pression


The altar of de-pression

I am at the altar of de-pression.

‘No need to worry’, i heard this voice in my mind.

“You are where you need to be.” Ou! (goose bumps. Chills. Shiver me timbers). Is this my spirit guide talking?

“Stop by and stay for some more time.’

‘Music will clear the ringing pain in your heart, your limbs will understand it better. Give it (the body) some time. Be gentle and don’t be like a parent, instead be the best friend to yourself. Be G E N T L E’

Wow. I never had anyone telling me all of this. Till the time I got really sick when there was nothing else in me, no more areas left in me to get sick. I just wanted to be de-pressed – this suffocating pressure taken off me. I wanted to somehow get out of the heavy emotional and mental state.

I got therapy. I added nutritional products. I listened to relaxing music. I started meditations. and prayers. Still the biggest change-agent seemed to be missing – me. Yes. The simple one letter capital entity : ‘I”.

My therapist stated: ‘I hope I have given you all the right tools. And please work on them. Do not be hard on yourself. Ever. And I am here, let me know if you need me’. I do not remember the right words. But that was the message. She’s right – none can create a positive change or take the step towards a life of happiness that seems so impossible other than me and my mind.

Whatever time of the day, there is no excuse for cutting down on the soul-nourishment-sessions by pressing myself onto important work, must do tasks, cannot be missed appointments, dead lines.

Ok. S T O P. Stop, stop, stop it – no more getting pressed. Pressed and squeezed and crunched and being aggressive or assertive or being that which is stressing. That which drains away your power. ‘Spiritual moral ethical loving power’. That which wipes out your energy for life. Energy for life meaning, what you love to do, what makes you happy, what gets a spiritual effort from you with ease, what makes you give unconditionally with all your heart. Hey, Like the heart that is an organ pumping only so much amount of blood, there are limits to what the mind can handle. And do not wait for a flashing light or siren to tell you: you are empty, you have been pressed, squeezed out totally like an empty toothpaste tube. Oh man.

Nobody will pull the plug on this process of ‘pressing’ to the max. None knows it better than me. Only I, myself, can de-press.

Why does my heart feel like it is no more a proper functioning organ? One that smiles? And dances in a trance of love.

Is there love only in relationships?

Is it food and music that triggers the sense of love for life?

Has not the entire universe been created for the heart to experience its treasures? Treasures scattered throughout, never to stop or diminish in supply for the harmonic existence of all beings? Unless we think or act otherwise!

Oh Lord, my sight is not so clear when it comes to seeing the beauty in things around me. So please fix my vision to tune into the love that’s around me.

Oh Lord, my ears are sometimes quite deaf to the tunes of joy and happiness that all beings are engaged in, a testimony to the fact that love radiates in various frequencies and I need you to fine tune my hearing.

The altar of de-pression does not exist. Man and woman are much smarter.

The expression of ‘possibility’ brings benefits, tho.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “The altar of de-Pression

    • 🙂
      Each day is a tip toe movement across a bridge without rails. i look down to see a deep abyss. I look ahead and find wonderful things lined in rows. Of course it makes sense ‘to be OK to fall and die’ while ‘moving ahead feels so heavy’ and trying to be strong does not work completely. considering myself as the last person on earth helps a bit as I read about all the similar experiences of today and yesterday. and that’s when my make believe incantations and prayers come up. is not reality all about what the mind believes at the end – at the subconscious and conscious levels? Thanks for connecting and keep the circle expanding. I like the ‘do work at your own best’ by you. thanks. writing helps clear my head.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s